How I got here.

Being an only child was always my dream. It never came true unfortunately as my brother was born three years into my life. I was born in the winter 1995, to my loving, caring, “hip” parents. I grew up in a small town in the south and raised as such. The Bible Belt as it’s lovingly referred. I went to the same school for 13 years, I graduated with 25 of the same kids I’d always known, though most didn’t remember me being there that long. I wasn’t a total loser but, I wasn’t all that popular either. I had my friends and was nice to all because my momma didn’t raise an asshole. Three months after graduation, while the rest of my classmates where getting married and starting families, I left. I moved three hours south to the Capitol city and honestly haven’t regretted a single day. You see, my parents moved from here before they had kids. They say they did everything backwards, bought their retirement home and raised their kids in it, now they live here again to make money to actually retire. All of my family is here and as a kid, we spent most weekends making the three hour trip down to see them. I always had a feeling this is where I belonged, like growing up in small town USA was great[ish] but, the city environment is where I THRIVE. It also doesn’t hurt that through the years, I’ve managed to make more friends here then I ever had as a teenager in my hometown. I have all my cousins, who manage to always get me into trouble in the most amusing ways. Old co-workers I can’t seem to shake, not that I’d want to because, they always tend to be the best people and a great voice of reason. And friends I’ve acquired through the music scene, I wonder how I ever lived without. Honestly, if it weren’t for Facebook I doubt I’d know anything about people I knew growing up except for the wee few friends who helped me survive all those years of boredom, I keep in contact with and make the effort to see them when I’m there. Last year I turned 21 and my whole world opened up to new adventures through the local bar scene. Personally, that’s when I think I had a major breakthrough with my self worth and true happiness. I used to be shy, timid, and that made me unattractive. I never got attention from boys, and that hurt my confidence. I thought if I tried hard enough with my outer appearance they’d notice me. So I wouldn’t leave the house unless I was dressed to the nines, makeup, and hair all done. In reality, all I needed were the right people in my life, to bring me out of my shell. They helped me realize that I would be happier if I was just myself and that I didn’t need all my material girl mess to make me attractive. I just needed to be me, kinda quirky, a little loud and obnoxious but, that’s just me. Since excepting myself, I have no problem talking to people or making new friends.{Or getting numbers at the bar, ya feel} Today I walked with confidence into my local DG with legging, a sweatshirt, last nights makeup, hair in a bun, and no bra. I felt even more comfortable because the person I was with was dressed just the same. I’ve stopped caring so much about what others think of me and started focusing on what makes me happy. I don’t keep relationships with people who are toxic, I made the mistake in high school of staying in a friend group where the girls would bash me to my face and I laughed along because I didn’t want to lose their “friendship”. Now when I see those “friends” in public I’m sure to tell them about how happy I am and ask how they are in their loveless marriage, after 3 years, and how the kids are. Sometimes I have enough time to tell them about running into a celebrity outside a bar downtown or seeing a major act in concert.{They’d have seen on my Facebook wall, let’s be honest the only reason THEY are still my friend  on there is because I’m a little petty and want them to know they didn’t break my spirit with their hate} I’ve got an amazing job, I’ve worked hard to find, that allows me to do new and exciting things all the time. I am genuinely happy and I know it kills all the people who where excited to see me fail when I left. All I heard for weeks before I left was “Oh, you’ll be back. Just like soandso.”or “You really think you’ll be able to make it in the big city on your OWN?” Words like these almost stopped me from fulfilling my life long dream and I’m so glad I didn’t let them. Don’t get me wrong, I make mistakes and get into some interesting situations but, I live everyday for what it has to offer me. Most importantly I’m happy and just living life as a twentysomething stuck in the in-betweenPlaceholder Image.

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